I’m writing these lines with a stiff neck, barely able to keep it straight and my shoulders square. It’s painful enough as it is but even more painful when I listen to what it tells me. It yells & kicks “Enough!”. Enough of the pretending; enough of the keeping up with other people’s perspectives & way of doing things; enough of the assumptions & expectations of myself that I’ll never be able to fulfil. (…)

Trauma happens in relationships as much as they’re healed in relationship. Which seems to be paradox at first makes perfect sense when taking a closer look at the genesis of developmental trauma. (…)

Often we assume that once we’ve healed an emotional wound, tapped into more spaciousness & freedom, we naturally need to feel relieved, more energetic, focused & all the good stuff. In my experience that’s often not what happens right away. And here’s why: (…)

There are many ways in which we can connect with one another. Words, touch, laughter are some of connection’s outward expressions. Empathy and resonance are a couple of the qualities that describe our capacity to feel & attune to each other. What is the difference really? (…)

In so many ways we try to balance, compensate & correct the distress we carry through our children. When we expect them to behave in a certain way so we don’t have to get in touch with our fear of being judged or excluded; when we expect them to follow our direction without resistance so we can feel competent and don’t have to encounter the anger that we carry for our own will having been broken when we were children. (…)

If people ask how I started to get into trauma work, I say that it started with my daughter - from scratch if you will. I was a few months pregnant when I was caught by a book on traumatized societies by Franz Ruppert. It was more macro-level which has always fascinated me but it quickly turned me into as micro as it can get: a deep glimpse into my own earliest experiences in my mother‘s womb, my birth, my first few years. This is were the foundation for our psychological wellbeing is set - and eventually that of our whole society & the systems we operate in. (…)