Meditation is an incredible, deeply intuitive, wise, and humane tool to get in touch with yourself. To see who you are apart from the relationships you lead, the roles you fulfill, the job you do, the needs you satisfy. In fact, it helps you to get a better sense of whether all of the above are inherently good for you or not. And then meditation has limitations that I consider important to be aware of. (…)

If you’d asked me years ago what could be the result of healing (becoming whole again), I’d probably have answered that I’d hoped to feel more fulfilled, fuller of purpose, more grounded & embodied. I wouldn’t have answered that I might feel more spacious, less limited in time & space, lighter, connected & yet freer, that precious balance between being safely bonded & autonomous at the same time. (…)

This has been a longing for me for quite sometime: to put on the brakes and venture into the solitude, the deep sense of connection with myself that my soul or my being was calling for. And yet, some of my prevalent strategies have kept me moving, not trusting too much in my own senses, rather ridiculing them as asking for “laziness”, “lethargy”, “staying stuck”. (…)

Long time, no see or no read/write I should say. I’ve been on a long journey of transition, which slowly comes to its end & the intensity of which I’ll remember for the rest of my life.

I’ve been incensed & enraged quite a bit throughout the process, especially lately as I feel my justice being lopsided by a particularly confused & confusing contemporary that I’m in contractual relations with at the moment. (…)

I’ve never felt that angry my entire life. Although I should say, I never was aware that I was that angry as I’m aware now. Lately, I feel it’s boiling and billowing inside of me, about to spill outside but not quite yet because there still is this thin membrane like my skin that keeps it tucked inside. (…)

The thing with following a (spiritual) practice that works for yourself is that often times you assume it’s the only workable practice, the ultimate one, often after years of searching. I distinctly remembered the moment though in which I realized I hit a point inside of me that I couldn’t possibly move beyond through meditation.