A Deeper Reality

(In collaboration with the Institute for Identity Development)

“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”
— Soren Kierkegaard

As a mediator, trained in getting to the essence of conflicts, I cannot help but notice that ID work is gradually changing my perspective in a noticeable regard:

My emotions are a real and inseparable part of my reality. They lie at the bottom of every issue I face. And as long as I fail to meet, acknowledge and care for them, I will get stuck on and in these issues. 

As this is an essential part of training as a mediator, that doesn’t sound like such a revelation. The nuance, however, lies in actually experiencing this reality, versus only intellectually grasping it.

And this is the difference that ID sessions bring to the table. 

By connecting with parts of myself that carry deep emotions, too long pushed down or discouraged, and by accepting them as real, I’m finally on an eye-to-eye level with who I truly am in this world. 

Being in touch with all of this in myself makes it easier to relate to others beyond issues, controversies, and differences of opinion. I also become more capable of holding space for a variety of viewpoints and opinions, that is, for the diversity of life. 

Growing my capacity to embrace diversity maximizes my potential. Recognizing that each of us has a unique pool of emotions and experiences to draw from, I become truly inspired as to how we could turn this world into a place of inclusiveness, innovation, and co-creativity.
That co-creativity is beautifully reflected in the ID method. 

Through using our capacity to resonate with the emotions of others, we shed light on what is really going on inside of us. Each session becomes a moment of truth and a reflection of what it means to be real in this world, with all its pain, beauty and confusion. 

What would happen if we all accepted the truth that our reality does not lie in the surface level issues we face but rather on a deeper level, rooted in how we have experienced life and how we emotionally respond to it? 

If we accessed this deeper level more frequently and gave it room to express itself gently and authentically, would we be able to more skillfully transform the conflicting issues that shape “reality” on the surface? 

While connecting with my emotions is an inside job, the answers to the above questions can only be found in my connection to my authentic identity and my relationship to others, on both a small and a large scale.