The Softening of Rigidity

“I feel, therefore I can be free.”

- Audre Lourde

(In collaboration with Identity Development Institute)

In these intense weeks and months, I’ve wondered: How can I manage to stay sane, grounded, and inspired while one comforting routine, belief or worldview after the other is being called into question, possibly even shattered? 

In the throes of an unmatched public health crisis, the prevalence of racism, and the recurring heat that comes with our presidential election, it seems that the rigidity of our viewpoints, assessments, and public discourse has become more pronounced than ever.

And so is the division it is based on and that it inevitably causes. 

Isn’t it time to slowly uncover and dismantle the reasons why we’re so prone to stick to our worldviews and alliances, to start softening their grip on us, so that we increase our capacity to stay open to one another and to continuous change?

Rigidity is a very profound trauma response, or survival strategy, as we would say in ID work. It is meant to protect those parts of ourselves that were overwhelmed by primal emotions, such as grief and anger, when we were very young.

In response, we froze. In so-called “adult behavior,” that might translate into emotional and mental rigidity. So then we too often find ourselves trapped in strong ideas while at the same time separated from our own emotional experience, and ultimately, from others. 

In talking about this with fellow facilitators in training at the Identity Development Institute, I get inspired and uplifted by the tremendous opportunities that lie in overcoming rigidity and division - inside and outside (the power of our community!).

With the help of ID work, we can get in touch with those parts of ourselves that are in agony, trapped, frozen, or lashing out. We can start to feel our deep-seated emotions that were not felt to conclusion when they first occurred. We can show up for ourselves with all the gentleness, attentiveness and courage needed to release rigidity. 

And thereby free ourselves. 

(If you‘re too feeling dismayed, overwhelmed by or trapped by what is happening around you, whether it‘s in your relationships or in society at large, join me and the amazing network at the Institute in one of our upcoming Zoom workshops.)