Who am I in a Traumatised Society?
I recently re-discovered psychotherapist Franz Ruppert, who focuses on researching and treating traumatic experiences that probably all of us carry to a certain degree but that are typically not acknowledged as trauma (at least not in our common belief system and terminology). Yet, as Ruppert claims, those are exactly the traumas that shape our society, our systems, and therefore need resolving on an individual and on a social level.
Luckily, Ruppert is very generous in sharing his resources and research and so you can find an abundance of information on his theories and work on his website.
Ruppert's theory is based on the relationship between mother and child (and subsequently between father and child), which shapes our own "trauma biography". This consists of the trauma of identity (being unwanted), the trauma of love (being unloved), and the trauma of sexuality (being unprotected). After a traumatising experience, our psyche splits off - in a healthy part, a traumatised part (associated with overwhelm) and in a surviving part (associated with permanent stress, as our survival mechanism typically mean the creation of illusions and the denial of reality).
What follows is a cycle of victimhood and perpetrator, something that can clearly be witnessed on a societal level, yet, also takes place in our everyday reality. (Check it out for yourself: Victim attitudes - Keep smiling! Obey the rules! Care for others, not yourself! / Perpetrator attitudes - Become superior to others! Compete and win! Hide behind roles! ... can you see yourself?)
What I find appealing in Ruppert's theory and work is manifold:
1. He emphasises the fact that trauma is cross generational. Having been born, shortly after WWII, he himself experienced the war trauma that the generation before him carried and that he therefore carried as well. This is something that even I, being 3rd generation after WWII, can feel and that largely informs me in my perspective and work. There is a numbness, a "caged in" love, cut off feelings that I have always sensed especially in the generation of my grandparents and it hints to the stark, long-lasting effects that violence, brutality, and war have on the human psyche for generations to come! In Ruppert's words: "A traumatised parent will have traumatised children", yet:
2. One can "exit one's trauma biography", for one's own sake and that of society. Having done therapeutic work and coaching, similar to the one Ruppert suggest, for the past 10 years, I can attest to the significance of that! I've always had the sense that it was time to stop certain patterns. Sure, because they hurt me and have caused me suffering and trouble. But then always also with the idea in mind that I don't want to pass them on to my children. Now, of course you can become pathological interpreting every flaw, failure, suffering as a piece of your traumas, so I'd say carry that work lightly and with curiosity of your own inner processes. Yet, take it as seriously as us being peacefully together in this society and on this planet deserves. Which leads me to point 3 of why Mr Ruppert is on my hit list:
3. The connection to the greater benefit and progress. As Ruppert frames it: "Many traumatised humans together create a traumatised and traumatising society." The bait is passed on if we continue to live unconscious of our own patterns and how they harm us and others. As with the Four Noble Truths (the essence of Buddhist psychology): Pain/suffering is inevitable. It is a part of our existence and the one that will lead us to growth. We suffer because we believe that we are essentially separate, isolated "I"s that can and have to operate detached from each other. That not being true, continuous suffering (aka trauma) is also not something we just have to live with (no chance changing the beaten track, man!) [side note: suffering is connected to how we react to painful experiences, which will always be something we'll have to deal with]. By looking at them and taking certain (Buddhist but actually universal) means, we can free ourselves from the suffering. And part of that is knowing your responsibility and your impact as part of society.
Being prone to nonviolence in all its forms (interpersonal, political, economic etc.), I find it convincing when Ruppert says that the outside world of society is simply mirroring the inner world of us human beings. To me, he skilfully connects over-exaggerated capitalism (competition), poverty, crime, racism, nationalism back to the traumas we have endured as individuals (unwanted, unloved, unprotected) and to the exit strategies that we have developed, creating the illusion that we are separate entities that have to struggle for survival against each other. Yes, we might not see the downfall of these trauma responses in our lifetime, but this aha-moment of "Yes, I can do something about the currently operating system, by looking at myself" is - as always and however framed - super empowering.