Hierarchies & Conflict

I currently read  Ken Cloke's "Conflict Revolution. Mediating Evil, War, Injustice and Terrorism" (further subtitled How Mediators can help the save the planet - which is worth another blog post :)

It is a long and dense read, full of insights, suggestions, theses, with a focus on rethinking and redesigning the systems we operate in (incl. our judicial, economic, political systems, which are intertwined and therewith based on the same principles anyway). 

Ken Cloke argues (as any good mediator would) for establishing more collaboration and interest-based processes in our decision-making, our politics and relationships. This sounds great in theory but it goes largely against the power and rights-based processes that define our judicial, political, and economic systems at the moment (and have done so for quite some time). And this is why it'll take a dedicated and combined effort to unhinge those standards, mindsets, and behaviours. 

"Changing systems" sounds far off. Something that we rather keep at the hand of the professionals (those that keep hierarchical systems alive, if you think about it). But indeed it isn't and indeed we shouldn't. It really starts right at our doorsteps.  

Hierarchical systems are not in favour of inclusiveness and they do not reflect the reality, in which most of us are lucky enough to live in. "The doctrines of democracy and liberalism have made almost no impact upon our [bureaucratic] organisations", Victor A. Thompson determined in 1961 (!). Today is 2018. And still most of our businesses and certainly our political organisations are run in exactly this style: The hierarchical culture is "interpreted in competitive and individualistic terms of relative social prestige and status", Thompson goes on, indicating that in those cultures (and indeed in our overall culture), the roles we "have" (such as titles, responsibilities etc.) are actually what we become. The human being disappears behind its role. And in my experience, the more hierarchical and bureaucratic an organization, the more this is the case. 

All throughout my life, I have based my insights mostly on my hands-on experience (rather than on the knowledge of the books, though that helps, *quotes* ;). When I recently described to my coach that I continue to work in hierarchical environments, despite the fact that I left my promising career in business to not work in such environments anymore, she pointed out that I'm probably gaining some valuable experiences how power and hierarchies fuel and shape conflicts. Indeed. 

"Hierarchy is essential because it rationalises domination and requires submission; bureaucracy because it blocks systemic change, discourages popular participation, and increases isolation of the citizens [...]", says Ken Cloke with regards to the greater implication of hierarchy. This is not even far fetched when looking at the smaller scale, more granular structures of organisations and institutions. As a mediator, I notice that the steeper the hierarchy, the less proactive, transparent, and mutual is the communication, both horizontally and vertically. To keep employees at bay, operating with fear and uncertainty is not such a no-go as you would hope for, again, in 2018. Ideas are regarded as a threat to the status quo, which is to be kept under all circumstances. Hence, innovation is a foreign word. 

Note, I'm describing an overall system. Leadership styles may differ, even in such restrictive contexts. They differ because some leaders are capable of granting wiggle room for the human component; others are not. And here is where the conflicts come in, obviously. I learn more and more, and quite personally, that the acknowledgment and resolution of conflicts require equality. Equality, which allows for open communication despite differences in rank; equality, which gives everyone an equally important voice; equality, which allows for resolutions drafted by both sides. None of those prerequisites, to my knowledge, is inherent in hierarchical systems. Therefore, conflicts are usually avoided, suppressed, or "resolved" according to codes that define the system  minus the relationship. 

Now, this is not sustainable. There is a stark contrast between the operating principles of these systems and the reality of a world that gets flatter, more cross-linked, faster paced and changing for most of us. It makes me hopeful and at the same time it highlights my responsibility. So far, this is what I think I can do ("starting at my doorsteps"):

1. Using my skills in communicating constructively and nonviolently (aka no blaming, finger pointing, employing "I" statements etc.) to seek conversations, in the workplace, as a mediator, as a trainer, with my husband, family etc. 

2. Understanding that I'm not my role and so is nobody else. Going beyond the surface and seeing what is behind. That is easier if I don't identify myself with my labels. 

3. Becoming an observer to what is going on on the outside and for others. Seeking to support them in the conversations and conflicts they have to navigate. 

4. Do not react to fear-inducement, whether it is done verbally or non-verbally, directly or indirectly. This is by far the most difficult because fear goes deep for most of us and most of us have it rooted somewhere in out hearts. Understanding that fear (existential/ fear of missing out/ fear of loneliness/ fear of not being enough etc.) might have had its justifications in some earlier experience but also understanding that today a fear that is abstract is most likely an illusion, keeping us at bay, with something or someone we are not. 

5. Build your serenity muscle. Stick it out. Don't react. Know that the more space you grant yourself from the actual happenings, the more you'll be capable of responding skilfully and beneficially when required. 

The list is super in-conclusive but it helps me to be able to navigate this current world of ours, both on a really small scale but also on the holistic, global scale. Building my capacity to communicate, mediate, feel compassion, center myself is my number one priority now more than ever.