Ich bin dieser Tage zerrissen zwischen einem tiefen Gefühl der Verzweiflung und großer Hoffnung, einer Art Aufbruchsstimmung und dem Gefühl des „endlich kann es losgehen“. Was ich damit meine, ist, dass es für mich noch keine opportunere Zeit gegeben hat, um in meine Selbstbestimmung zu gehen und die Liebe in mir wieder zu spüren — und das, was mich von beidem getrennt hat. Ein Erfahrungsbericht. (…)

I woke up this morning, thinking: “Man, I’m excited for what this life brings me.” A thought that, as much as I remember, has never crossed my mind in the past 37 years of my life. It was no thought that came from a place of exhilaration or a sense of abundance. It was rather a statement amidst the experience of growing and profound care for who I am, how I perceive this world and my place in it. (…)

These times are terrifying for me. While the socio-political narrative implies that we’ll soon be back to some type of normalcy, some type of “better,” this is an experience that I don’t share. While I don’t intent to ponder about the “rights” and “wrongs”, I wonder how I can use this time of upheaval, of transition, and of renewal to prepare myself for what is shaping up, sensing that the “shaping” is much more in our hands than many of us assume. (…)

The more I meet myself in all my nuances, experiences, emotions, and needs, the more I realize my capacity to be in relationship with others; and at the same time to sense and hold my boundaries. (…)

It’s hard to put into words what’s going on for me these days. I might be going through a phase, or I’m entering a completely new awareness of who I am and what it means to be alive. (…)

Much as I’ve come to see that I don’t need methods and techniques to thrive in relationships and life, I continue to realize on a deep level that the urgent pace of modern life is not in sync with my pace of taking in, processing, and thriving. Reclaiming my own unique bodily, emotional, and mental rhythm is key to thriving in an organic, fulfilling, and inspiring way. (…)