The Wonders of Joy
“And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
— Anaïs Nin
It might seem counterintuitive but the one sentiment that I feel and deepen these days is joy. A different type of joy from what I’ve felt in a long time, maybe forever. A deep-rooted, internalized kind of joy that constitutes the basis of life.
While alongside I connect with the widespread sorrow and pain and despair, it feels as if a veil is lifting that has defined my attitude towards life for a long time. Now sadness and a “must do”-attitude from which I have approached life thus far are just one side of the coin. They are not the overriding tone of life anymore from which I approach both my relationships and my profession.
To me this internal shift is probably one of the least expected outcomes of my most recent identity development sessions. Looking into those young parts of myself that are hurting has created a profound change in awareness and perception of life.
It might be one of the least acknowledged side effects of adverse childhood experiences: the loss of joy, of wonder, of full aliveness. After all, it is so much part of our culture to assume that only hard-won efforts and success arduously achieved make up for a life well lived, indeed worth living. However that only speaks to how much of our fragmented psyches, on an individual scale, contribute to the illusions in our society.
I find it fascinating that looking at the destructive patterns in my life through the lens of identity development (ID) essentially and quite automatically brings me back to what it means to be human: to feel fullness, joy, presence towards my life that can be supported by external events, activities, interactions, but that is eventually a most basic state of being.
The more I work on integrating my psyche, developing a healthy and my unique “I”, the more I am intrigued by the simplicity, preciousness, and gentleness of my existence. The longing and gradual completion of joy as a driving force quite naturally wants and allows for others to enjoy and express joy in their very own way as well.
That makes me wonder: how would our world look like if we prioritized joy, joyful expression, abundance, happiness as the modus operandi of our relationships, our business interactions, our politics and so on? What kind of society could we create if we allowed for a more balanced approach towards joy and sorrow?
While I don’t have the answer to that for now, it might be an inevitable and gradual shift the more of us prioritize their own wellbeing and happiness.