The Holy Ground of Uncertainty

(In collaboration with the Identity Development Institute)

“To leap from one certainty to another skips the holy ground of uncertainty, of not knowing, of humility, into which genuinely new information can come.”
(Charles Eisenstein) 

Lately our social discourse has become polarized to the point where a simple, civil exchange of differing viewpoints seems impossible. This is not a US phenomenon alone, but it seems particularly pronounced as our largely bi-partisan society has become riddled with uncertainty, fear, and confusion in the face of Covid-19, the economic downturn, and growing social and political unrest 

As a trained mediator, I cannot help but see the tremendous opportunities that lie in this all-time-low of stalling, bewilderment and destructive communication. 

Polarization assumes there are only two sides or viewpoints, and that they exist at opposite ends of some imagined spectrum. Since there appears to be no common ground, inertia is the inevitable result as each side devolves into overwhelm and helplessness (i.e. my way or the highway).

But life thrives in multiplicity, in the messy chaos of fertility, unpredictability, and interdependence – whether of living matter or ideas. Thinking, arguing, and acting in two-dimensional extremes paralyzes our capacity for creativity, community, and collaboration. 

And yes, we will have to give up ground to reclaim that capacity.

In Identity Development (ID), we come to realize that insisting on the rightness of our opinion is a form of identification with something (or someone) outside, which prohibits our true, inner identity from developing. This might be the result of early childhood experiences that left us so helpless and frightened that we clung - and continue to cling – to seeming security on the outside, such as that offered by identification with a nation, religion, or political party. 

Slowly and gently unraveling identifications that hold us tight to a binding position opens up our capacity for fruitful communication and genuine connection with ourselves, our loved ones, and society as a whole. 

In relation to the current crisis, when we argue for or against the efficacy of facemasks and lockdowns, or respond to the current political confrontations with statistics and rhetoric, we barely scratch the surface of the challenges we face.

To get beneath the surface, we must address the underlying conditions.  

When we cease arguing about external symptoms, and instead connect with our underlying feelings, experiences and beliefs, we enter a precious space of not knowing, of humility, of curiosity. When we feel safe enough to acknowledge that we might be wrong as much as right, we discover that, by listening to the challenging other, we invite cooperation, true creativity and the possibility for systemic change.

As Charles Eisenstein says, “A society at war with itself cannot move forward, just as a man at war with himself can do little to change his circumstances. The inner conflict incinerates creative energy.”

ID work offers us a direct way to work constructively with the inner conflicts that cause us to close our minds in the face of crisis. If these days you feel that you need to work on your capacity to communicate or if your inner conflicts become more apparent, join the Institute for one of their weekly workshops to see if the approach can be a resource for you as well.