Blank Slate
"Paths are made by walking them.”
- Antonio Machado
There is so much beauty in focusing on the process, rather than a goal or an outcome. There is so much beauty in focusing on how I want my next step to feel. There is so much beauty in prioritising spaciousness, that which is necessary to tap into self-determination and autonomy.
As I drank my coffee this morning, a time I use to sense into my heart, the energy of the day and setting intentions for its hours to come, the word and image of a “blank slate” came to mind. Not really a sheet of paper but rather the notion of starting from scratch, which comes with having shed some old skin, old habits, old belief systems that informed my perception and interpretation of reality.
What is significant in my healing journey at the moment is the lived experience of autonomy and the acknowledgment of my process, my very flow of life. It makes sense to me that in my striving for a greater connection with my own life experiences, emotional responses, and needs, one of the results is a greater appreciation of life as essentially vital, changing, flowing. In striving for greater connection to hurt parts of myself, I gain the safety to let go of rigidity, control, separation, linearity - all of which helped me stay afloat rather than being drowned by overwhelming experiences and emotions.
Now however I, the healthy adult, can take responsibility for deeply taking care of myself, not assuming or longing for the protection or support from where it never came to begin with.
No wonder, life then feels awkwardly new, fresh, appealing in its way of expressing itself through me and around me. This can only be seen and cherished with a certain sense of security within oneself, so much I know now.
What happens in this state of greater awareness for my own intuition, is a growing sense of autonomy, of putting myself first in the healthiest and most constructive way possible. It doesn’t mean to demean others, that only happens when a strong sense of Self is amiss; it rather means to leave responsibility where it belongs.
All that cannot flourish in a state of constant moving, going, performing. It needs spaciousness, it needs to allow for unfolding and observation, and a deep knowing that the process is all I got, is all I can inform. And for it to be my process, I must come from this deep wisdom within that I can be attached and detached at the same time; that I’m connected and on my own at the same time. Simply autonomy.