Seeing clearly
This is such an amazing time to be alive. And yes, it comes with so much pain and anger and discomfort. But I don’t think I have ever felt more alive than nowadays. Because I cannot escape myself anymore.
In the past, there was always the option of distraction, the option of running with the systems, with the pace of life defined by (which becomes more obvious these days) rather restrictive societal norms. Pure reaction, merely any skilful, heartfelt, aligned response. And now veils are lifting along the way. Clarity emerging and revealing what could be covered up, hidden, suppressed for the longest time.
I guess there is still the option of clinging to habitual patterns of control, of perfectionism, of doing without sensing and feeling. It’s just not a feasible option in my mind as the emerging collective energy is simply not supporting this attitude anymore.
Only a couple days ago, I finally realised how much I have cornered myself with my habitual way of reacting to change, operating in relationships, communicating with loved ones, facing my worst fears. Now I see the huge pile of seemingly unsolvable problems. Luckily, I’m standing outside of it, knowing that only slowly but surely I can clear them out of my way.
And yes, they might be unsolvable or at least very difficult to tackle to my inner satisfaction if I simply take them for what they are on the outside (e.g. I want to have monthly pay checks again and build my own business at the same time…a riddle for my brain). But these problems are merely an outward, material, possibly tangible expression for underlying mechanisms, behaviorisms, patterns that I have cultivated for too long, unable to check in with the emotion, pain, experience that caused them.
Now the times of being mentally blinkered are over. And I can just accept that for now…the pile in front of me. Solutions will emerge in their own time. All I can do is to remain steadfast in my resolve to solve. Then seeing clearly translate into doing clearly. This is the power of our time.