Identity vs. Identification

Dharma talk given at The Interdependence Project, October 23, 2018

For me the question of identity is a big one, because I think it holds both a lot of freedom and a lot of pain and internal/external oppression. It is also one of those concepts that I dig deeper the longer I practice (something that comes up with practice) and that holds the danger of spiritual bypassing. Which is why I feel connected to it on a therapeutic level as well, where I think the healthy identity can be achieved, whereas Buddhist practice may come to its limits. 

What I think is too few talked about is the difference between identity and identification. One of my favorite psychologist, Franz Ruppert, who specializes in the trauma of identity, defines a healthy psyche/ a healthy identity as:

1. Being able to differentiate between the internal perception and external reality;

2. Being able to differentiate between past and present;

3. Being able to differentiate between Me (my own experiences) and You (your experiences);

4. Being able to differentiate between reality and illusion. 

To him, (over-) identification is the problem. The identification with a nation, with a religion, with a profession, with your parents. Identification means to cross the boundaries between the internal/external, the You vs. Me in an unhealthy way, obeying your own perception, truth, needs to a collective, which in its structure, logic and institutions upholds those identifications. 

When we look at national or religious identity for instance, we can quickly see the danger that lies in over-identifying with its premises, beliefs and following its teachings, standards, rules as if these entities would always exist to keep us up. As Ruppert says, it substitutes for a healthy individual identity (which manages to include the positive as well as the negative experiences) and as soon as those things we identify with fall, we’re left with nothing. 

Here I draw a connection to Buddhism, as Loch Kelly also speaks about the “mistaken identity”, the “ego-identification” and he basically means all those external entities and systems that we identify with. As I mentioned earlier, I think the distinction between identity and identification is not made clear enough in many Buddhist teachings, running the risk of leaving people with a void when they think they’ll have to give up their identity. Rather, to me it is becoming more flexible and fluid with your identifications, which can only happen from a place of a solid identity. 

When Ruppert mentions the differentiations that healthy identities are able to made, it becomes clear to me through our practice of meditation, of internal investigation, and introspection, we can actually learn to be better able to differentiate between reality and illusion (the grasping, conditioned mind), between past and present (observing what is happening in these moments I’m sitting), between my experience and your experience (solidly building an understanding for my experiences and being able to stand in them). 

Whether you use therapy or meditation – or what I would say is most effective – both, working with identity and identification is not an easy task, especially not in a system, in which identification is the modus operandi and partially so subtly engrained in the political, economic system and social interactions. 

So let’s be prepared! As Pema Chödrön said: “When things fall apart in your life, you feel as if your whole world is crumbling. But actually it’s your fixed identity that’s crumbling.”

And while it may not be possible for us in our lifetime to truly let go of our identifications (and maybe we don’t even have to), for the sake of our healthy identity, it may be worthwhile to investigate their true nature, the grasp they have on us, and how even that changes. 

 Here are a couple suggestions of how to deal with identifications, from my own, not long-time experience:

a.    Notice all the “small” identifications in your life. Notice how solid or how fluid they are, depending on where you are, with whom you are with. 

b.    Notice how you bring identifications into your interaction. How they help you to relate to others on the one hand, how they exacerbate conflict on the other hand, when you’re triggered to defend them. Would you feel better without them sometimes? Try to refrain from a reaction next time you’re identification is triggered and see how you feel. More flexible, vibrant, anxious, insecure or vulnerable?

c.     Come back to meditation over and over again. Meditate on the change of impermanence of sounds, feelings, thoughts. Feelings are especially connected to identifications so try doing a meditation on feelings. 

d.    Think about death, especially your own. Will it have been worthwhile to identify with the external? Will it have been worthwhile to be connected to who you really are with your thoughts, emotions, sensations, senses, experiences? As Jorge Luis Borges said: “We forget that we are all dead men conversing with dead men.” So why fighting for identification?